We’ve all been in the humiliating situation where our child makes a scene..
through his/her screams, rants and kicks…but nothing is worse that when they do it in front of peers, friends and family.
Imagine the scenario if you will. Your toddler has just begun the infamous terrible twos…and he’s only one and a half. You’ve taken him swimming in the morning. It always tires him out and the afternoon therefore goes a lot more calmly. You can settle down to do some reading with him, maybe a spot of drawing or playing with his oodles of trucks and cars. The afternoon will be beautifully settled and calm.
Suddenly reality hits!
You arrive home and glance at the calendar. You realize that you are supposed to take your little one to a party…in an hour! Grabbing your coat you thrust your little treasure back in to the car seat and speed off to ToysRUs to buy the gift you haven’t bought.
Your little boy wants to hold each plastic army figure, swing on the nursery furniture and test out the pushchairs and car seats on show. You cannot get out of the store. You pick him up and move to the check out. The first tantrum begins. You buy him toys on a regular basis – just not today. His screams that you are a liar. He’s got loads of toys at home. You begin to panic and verbalize it for the benefit of the judging public.
He begins to kick at your hips. You just need to pay and go. Your mind races in embarrassed frustration. I don’t let my child kick but I have to pay and go. I mustn’t yell. It’s all you want to do though and it might calm him. It’s an aggressive response and I am already losing my ‘Mary Poppins’ perfect mommy image. Instead, you try the passive aggressive warning. ‘If you don’t stop kicking mommy, you’ll go on the naughty step!.’ there is no naughty step in sight. His continuance to scream may as well be a hearty laugh in your face and is a terrible reflection on your parenting skills.
But, it’s not.
“All parents have been here.”
The person who claims that their child is fabulous all the time clearly has more privileges than you which allows them to live in a parallel universe where all children are born with perfect social behavior with no need to learn.
Humans can demonstrate the worst kind of fickle behavior. Despite most of us having had experience of children’s tantrums, there’s always someone who has the disdainful frown which metaphorically shouts TUT-TUT! Forget about these people. They’re probably having a bad day and are exacting their frustrations on you. Don’t let them layer you in their negativity. You’ve enough on you hands. Hard as it is, ignore these people. It’s what they deserve!
Tantrums are just a part of your child’s development and learning.
How can a child learn if they never do wrong. How can they know what to expect from you if they don’t push you. It doesn’t make it any easier on the parent when the tantrums are occurring but know that it’s not just happening to you and it’s not your parenting. Your child is merely going through its rite of passage.
About the Author:
This article was written by Jamie Anderson who is a proud parent of 2, gadget freak, photographer and family blogger. Jamie has been managing his own blog for a few years now. Jamie enjoys writing articles for mums to be and parents of young children and currently writes for Baby Planet who are a leading UK retailer of baby equipment including pushchairs, nursery furniture and toddler beds.
We’ve all definitely been there so this is great advice to remember!
Great article. Been there for sure! LOL!!!
I actually disciplined my children for acting like this, and they never threw a tantrum again. My mother would have smacked me backwards. There was no time-out for us growing up. My mother laughed at the time-out parents whose children were still throwing tantrums while I was sitting quietly in the buggy. There is no reason for a child to scream and cry, and they need to learn that.
If a parent raises the child from day one letting them know that they are not supposed to act in this manner there shouldn’t be any consequenses such as this story and worse. When my son was little, he would ask if he wanted something, and if it wasn’t in the budget that week, he understood and that was the end of that… The problem that I have observed with many parents is this…Family and friends will buy the child things and when the child gets older they don’t take no for an answer.
Tantrums, hissy-fits, yelling, screaming, calling parents, teachers, siblings names, back-talking, kicking, etc., are NOT acceptable behavior and when you teach your children from birth, right from wrong, you won’t have embarrassing instances like that in public or any where else. It is not the child to dictate to the parent what is right and wrong, it’s the parent who needs to teach. So much can be said for the lack of responsible parenting these days.
I have a daughter and her name is Pandora Isabella Jaden McPeak and she recently turned two and she throughs them eveyday and everywhere and the only what i can stop it for atleast 30 min. so i can get what i need done i put on Spongebob Squarepanst and then when the show is over it starts again and i have a client and she comes banging on the glass door to my office and she is screaming so i ask her what she wants and then she hits me i mead hits me and that is were i lose it i put her in time out and that is where it get worse she doesnt stop screaming till you get her out and she sat there for 30 mins to 1 hour and i took her out and that is when my client left and i asked if she wanted anything and she says “Spongebob Narenants” and we will sit down in a chair and watch spongbob narenants and she would fall asleep in my arms and that would be the end of tantroms but its the worse when we r in walmart and she see something she wants and i dont have the money to get it because im a teen mom and i have to live on a budget and her dad whats nothing to do with her or me at all so im left to supply everything we need to survive and its been okay but anyways she will screan and hit and kick take her shoes and socks off and the she will start yelling and i have everyone staring at me and im a shy mom so when someone offered to buy it for her it took me a min to respond and then it still kept going till we got in the car and i gave her, her sippy cup and she fell asleep but its hard being a single parent and not haveing anyone to help you not even your family they dis-owened me for getting preganet in the first place and i didnt mean for it to happen but it did and i have a beautiful baby girl and she love me and i love her and thats all i need right now men can wait and it will till she gets old enough to tell me if she like the guy or not and all that stuff your kids will do i was raised by a single parent and had no dad i cant believe this is was going to happen to my beautiful baby girl but it did and i will make sur she gets eveything she need to grow and succeeded in life and that is my main gole right now in life
and i dont let it happen so dont get any ideas its hard being a single mother still in high school and have a 2-year-old child to take care of at the same time and i still want to go to college and i dont know how im going to do that
My eldest son at the age of 2 1/2 had his first tantrum at home which included holding his breath. I found that by ignoring him and walking away he soon stopped. He never tried it again.